Breaking
the Chains to Freedom: Finding the Power within You
Esther
Adler
Genre:
Self-Help/Memoir
ISBN:
978-1-4664-2510-1
Reviewer:
Joyce Shafer
Esther
Adler’s book, Breaking the Chains to
Freedom: Finding the Power within You, is part memoir, part self-help,
which focuses on how to switch from victim mentality to a spiritual warrior
mindset. Adler is a bright spirit born into a strict Orthodox Jewish family and
culture filled with rules, restrictions, and guilt—and lots of each, which
makes her more than the “black sheep” in the family. She was also born into a
family with a father who has a genius I.Q. along with Borderline Paranoid
Schizophrenia, and a mother who had a joyful spirit despite a physically
incapacitated body and her own victim mentality, and whom Adler became primary
caregiver of at age eight.
Adler
describes growing up with a mother couldn’t take care of herself without
assistance; a verbally and physically abusive father who tried to strangle her;
a “religious” culture that refused to help her; the decline and death of her
mother; being diagnosed with diabetes and the struggle to find a way to
function with this disease; and a host of experiences that caused her to one
day state to herself, “I don’t really want to die. I just don’t know how to
live.” She reveals her transformation from practicing victim mentality to someone
with a warrior mindset, which includes sharing how she was a wife at eighteen,
with four children who arrived within a short few years; living with and
eventually divorcing her verbally abusive husband (who, though Adler doesn’t
state as such, at least seems to have
Narcissistic Personality Disorder, based on her descriptions of his behaviors);
and having to find love, peace, and wisdom in the decision to let her children
live with their father as a result of his religious smear campaign against her.
Adler also includes inspirational notes and theories about human needs that
lead to victim behaviors, as well as exercises and ideas to help shift from
emotional pain to happiness and spiritual awakening that lead to personal
freedom.
It’s
pleasing to read something written by someone without degree letters after their
name. That’s not a criticism: What I mean is that this book is a nice chance to
relate to someone who is perceived as more
like the man on the street than not, even if readers’ cultures are quite
different. Adler demonstrates inner strength, character, and an indomitable, if
not enviable, belief in herself, love, and life. I found that in the final
sections, my yellow highlighter was used to note particular passages such as
this one: “Showing no emotion is not an act of strength, but an act of fear.
It’s a fear of being judged. Be judged. You will be judged in your life no
matter what.”
Adler
wrote this book for those who practice victim mentality or have experienced—or
currently are experiencing—a major life transition (death of a loved one, loss
of a significant relationship, loss of employment, loss of health, etc.), to
help them move through and beyond the trauma such and similar experiences
present. Although some pre-publishing polishing with editing tweaks would have
been a good idea, such instances do not diminish how engaging her story is or
how inspirational her message is. All in all, it’s a powerful read.
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