Title:
Are You Happy Now? 10 Ways to Live a Happy Life
Author:
Barbara Berger
Classification:
Nonfiction
Genre:
Self-Help/Spirituality
ISBN:
978-1-78279-201-7
Year
Published: 2013
Pages:
197
Edition:
Reprint Edition (August 16, 2013)
Publisher:
O-Books, imprint of John Hunt Publishing
Reviewer:
Joyce Shafer ~ http://Self-PublishedAuthorsBookReviews.weebly.com
This
is a book to read more than once!
I
love and appreciate what the author did with this content. I could go on and on
about the value and wisdom of this book. But I’ll start here, with a profound
statement I heard years back: Sometimes the questions matter more to us than
the answers. Though author, Barbara Berger, presents us with beneficial answers
and information to consider and integrate, she also presents us with valuable
questions (and all-important solutions), such as: Is the past controlling your
present? Are you a people-pleaser with an aversion to conflict? Do the opinions
of others influence or manipulate you? Do you have healthy boundaries? Do you
fear your emotions? Do you know what the collective lie is that affects nearly
all of us? What is the difference between consciousness and mind? Who are you
beyond your thoughts that arise? What kind of life might you have if you
stopped allowing other people to mind your business and if you stopped minding
theirs? How many ways do you make or keep yourself unhappy, without realizing
you’re doing this? How can you communicate honestly and clearly with others if
you aren’t honest and clear with yourself? How can you have a fulfilling life
if you’re afraid of making mistakes or fear others believing your choices are
mistakes? How can you become mindful, especially when emotionally upset or
afraid? These (and others she covers in the book) are questions many of us
contend with but may not address, as this book does and does so well.
The
ten chapter titles give a preview of what’s to come in the book, whether they
build enthusiasm and eagerness to delve into them or, perhaps, make you quake a
bit. It all depends on how ready you are to live a more authentic and
fulfilling life. The titles are as follows: Accept what is; Want what you have;
Be honest with yourself; Investigate your stories; Mind your own business;
Follow your passion and accept the consequences; Do the right thing and accept
the consequences; Deal with what is in front of you and forget the rest; Know
what is what; and Learn to see beyond impermanence. There are worksheets at the
back that help you address each chapter concept, as well as an Epilogue titled
“Don’t Believe What You Think.” You’re either ready to see what the author has
to offer about each of these or you’re telling yourself there’s laundry to fold
or grass to cut (i.e., avoidance).
This
is a book written by someone who who’s been through a lot, was facing a lot,
including moving forward in years—and asked herself an important question:
“...what do you need to remember to live a happy life? If you would sum it all
up, what would it be? What do you need to know to get you through the rest of
your life in a better way?” This is a question (what do you need to remember to
live a happy life?) many of us contemplate, but likely do so in passing rather
than addressing it head-on as the author did. Berger states in the Introduction
that she recognized how much of her life she’d “spent worrying about stuff or
being nervous and insecure about stuff or not really enjoying the fullness and
richness of” her life. This is more of a common complaint than, I believe, most
of us would like to admit, and one we truly desire to resolve. (I love the
mountain example in Chapter 8, and find it highly beneficial!)
In
her candid, straightforward manner, Berger discusses how we resist what-is,
whatever the what-is is in a moment (weather, an event, pain, health,
relationships, finances, etc.), and how we tend to fight the reality of what-is
nearly all the time, as well as how this resistance affects not only us but how
we experience life. However, she makes a keen point that accepting what-is is
not saying “yes” to everything and doing nothing; that it is not about
passivity, but the opposite. There were certainly additional brilliant points
made beside these two I’m about to share, but I love these: We more often than
not don’t live our lives, but live our interpretations
of our lives; we’re dancing with illusions. And, we let other people manipulate
us with their uninvestigated codes of behavior.
Berger
proposes that all of us can lead happy lives regardless of our situation, and
then demonstrates how to accomplish this throughout the book. She asks how well
we know ourselves, or if we’re afraid to do this, asks why; discusses our
responsibility to ourselves and our right to exist; and how we can deal with
the fear of criticism and choice with integrity. She shares that we can remember the wonder of our own
existence; discusses common worries and stories we tell ourselves and how to
transform them; and shares what she discovered real happiness and success is, and how clear and simple it actually
is.
Berger
reminds us that life is always a process that we’re in; that it’s about
awakening our awareness so that we make appropriate choices for ourselves, and
not focus on perfection, which is unrealistic. I give this book an
all-thumbs-up; and as I said earlier, it’s one to read more than once.
